It's about time for an update - Geez!

For the few readers out there - and I mean FEW- sorry it's been so long. As you are well aware, life gets in the way sometimes. So, here's the abbreviated version of the past few months since January:

-had pelvic pressure, which scared the teetotal crap outta me. Had to have an ultrasound,  then see an Ob/Gyn, and then another ultrasound which resulted in the diagnosis of "hemorrhagic cyst". Apparently,  they're common & go away on their own, just annoying.

- no babies yet. I say "babies" because my sister Alison is due ANYDAY now, and she's miserable. I can't wait to be an aunt, and I really can't wait to be a mother. Hence "babies". TTC for almost 4 months now. And by the way, women all around me are getting knocked up. Seriously - my sister,a teacher I work with, 2 girls in my Sunday school class just had babies mere days ago, 2 more have announced they're pregnant, and 2 girls from college either just had a baby or will in the next two weeks. WTH? I feel like I will never get pregnant, I'll never know what it's like. I just feel like it's not going to happen for me. 

- was nominated and won Teacher of the Year at my school! That was nice, and it definitely made me feel like my colleagues really recognize the hard work I put into what I do. Unfortunately (and I really shouldn't complain, because it is an honor) it comes with about 20 pages of paperwork - essays I have to write on my personal philosophy of education, my personal biography of why I wanted to be a teacher, a current issue of importance in education today.... Really, all I wanted was a primo parking spot and maybe no morning duty. That will never happen, at least not in my school.

-Got my new front loading washer/dryer! Matthew asked to buy a used motorcycle, and I conceded on the deal that I got my new w/d. We found a Whirlpool Duet set at BestBuy for a STEAL!! $381 a piece! It is safe to say I love them, and I feel good about helping the environment by using less water & energy. Plus, having a dryer that works  and actually dries clothes in under an hour is fantastic!

-we bought a new car! Well, a "new used" car from CarMax. I had a Saturn Ion that I loved. Until the trunk developed this habit of leaking water every time it rained. And the ignition would not let you pull your key out. And the radio/CD player went on the fritz. And the panel for the fuses kept falling off. And so forth. And slowly, love turned to bitterness, and I couldn't wait to get rid of that car. We ended up getting an '07 Jeep Compass. It's a small sized SUV crossover type vehicle. Think CRV + minivan - soccer mom nature. It's one of the nicest cars I've ever owned. Great for toting children around, like nieces!

   And then there was today. Today I woke up with a hideously swollen right eye, bloodshot & DE-sgusting! Pink eye, how fabulous. And contagious. I called my principal because I honestly didn't know what to do. We had PASS standardized testing today in language, and I sort of HAD to be there. By the same token - um, gross! Who wants to walk around with people staring at your crazy bloodshot eye, all the while you bathe in sanitizer like you have OCD. So I called him:

 Me: "Hi, Mr. 'Principal'. Um, I just woke up with a tremendous case of what I think is Pink Eye. I know we have PASS testing & and I feel fine, but I know it's really contagious and I truly don't know what to do here, and I was just wondering what....you wanted me to....do?
Him: " Well, now, how are you feeling? I mean, do you feel ok to come in or would you be embarrassed?"
Me: "Um, I feel fine, no problems, but I look like I've been punched in the face. I wouldn't be too embarrassed, but I'm worried about contaminating others.Um, I mean, I can come in and do testing, if you want, but I'm going to have to leave afterwards and go to the doctor, so I would need a sub for the rest of the day."
Him: "Well, why don't you plan on coming in, and I'll work on getting you a sub for the rest of the day."
Me: "Ok. Thanks." Click.

  And so I go in, determined to swathe myself in Purell all day if I have to. But I get to school, and my teacher friend Sandy takes one look at me and says, "Go home. Why the hell are you here?" I tell her the Conversation, to which she says, "He doesn't know anything! You cannot be here unless you've been on medication for 24 hours. Go see the nurse!" So I go, and she concurs that yes, indeed, I must go home. Fast forward past leaving school & telling my kids to do great and blahblahblah to the doctor's appointment, which confirms that I do NOT have pink eye. A mere bacterial infection. But I should stay home today & begin the eye drop medication to keep it from "getting worse". Ok, you're the one with the degree!
  However, a very important meeting was held today & I had wanted to be there for it. I got the short and sweet version : Right now I'm currently teaching ELA/SS to 3 classes a day - which I LOVE. The district is breathing down our school's back because math scores are not where they should be, so admin is going to group the students into math "groups" based on their ability level. Ok, no problem - we did that a few years ago, so I'm fine with that. Oh, yeah, and they're changing the schedule,too. Ok, well, I figured that would probably happen. Oh, yeah, and I'm not going to be teaching SS any more, they're going to give that to the other teacher, the one that's been teaching math this year. The one unfamiliar with SC SS standards- the same standards I have lived and breathed for 9 freaking years. The one who has nothing for SS, and who is going to want to borrow all my materials, and I'm going to HAVE to let her, because, afterall, I am Teacher of the Year. If you sense bitterness and a little rancor, you are justified. The other stuff- the scheduling stuff and the math all that- doesn't bother me. But taking away what I love? It's like someone just punched me in the throat. But, it's only for 6 more weeks of school, so surely I can suck it up, right? 6 weeks - what's that? A month & a half. And by then, it'll be PASS testing time, which we call "babysitting" cause that's about all you do. And the school year will be over, and she will be leaving my school to move back to her home state. It's nothing personal against her, really it's not. I guess it's sort of like someone coming into your job & saying, "Yeah, you know that thing you do here that you love to do and you're good at and you know all about it? Well, we're going to let someone else do that job, and you're going to have to give them all your materials and probably do reports for them so they know what to do. And don't forget - we're doing this for the company!" Except, in my case that would be "It's all for the children". But you & I both know it's not. It's for the school and district, so we can look good & keep that AYP medal we got.
6 weeks, 6 weeks, 6 weeks......

Resolutions can suck it!

January is about halfway through, and I have yet to live up to any of my resolutions. And for the interested reader, here they are in no particular order:

- cardio no less than 3x a week Specifics: I mean to say "lose 10 pounds" as well as "go to the gym 3x a week", but really, some days I get to my car and think "Hell no, I'm not going to the gym today." Normally, this would then mean that I should walk or do some home yoga/Pilates for at least 3o minues. Again, who am I kidding? Actually, that's not fair. About 2-3 weeks ago, I was "running" (i.e.- Grandma jogging) 2 miles a day. I can do it. I just lack motivation.

-stop cussing Specifics: see the above statement. I swear, one day I'm gonna slip in front of my kids at work. I just know it. Plus, I feel like a giant hypocrite when I write them up for cussing (and most of the time when they use it, it's hilarious! "She called a 'bitch' and said my braids were nappy.' Come on - that's comic gold!

-brush & floss daily Specifics: ok, so I'm really prone to gum inflammation, so this one is for my own good. Plus, my dentist is super nice and the first time I went to see him for a cleaning, when it was all over he looked at me and said, "Mrs. Waters, ....your gums scare me." Who wants scary gums? Not me.

- Let it ride Specifics: as a sometimes "uptight" person, this is more personal that the rest. Case in point = bureacratic school/district b.s. I could be upset about it, spend time denouncing it & ranting & raving to all who will listen how morally wrong it is & how we're told to have high expectations for the kids when in reality I'm supposed to accept garbage........I could go on. But I won't. I'll "let it ride". I'll do what I'm told to do with/without a smile on my face. I'll realize that I'm making a small difference in teeny tiny ways, and maybe that's all I'm supposed to do. It is what it is, and all I really have to do is wait for this wave to go out & the next one to come in. Because we all know, another wave is always on its way in.

So, perhaps instead of calling these "resolutions", I should call them "habits". Habits can be good; dental hygiene, for example. And habits can be developed. I don't remember the math exactly, but I think I'm supposed to complete an action like 7 or 14 times in order for it to be on its way to becoming a habit. So, basically, if I work out every week, 3x a week, for a little over a month, it will then be a habit. If I substitute another word for "shit" or "fuck" at least 14 times (or maybe over 14 days??), I'll be on the road to language recovery. If I feel my toes curling, my stomach knotting, my shoulder muscles scrunching up around my ears, my inner bitch clawing her way to the surface and I remember to BREATHE and go with the flow and be thankful I have a job for 14 days (or 14 times it happens), I'll loosen up somewhat.

Hell, if I can achieve even one of these, I'll be so proud I could bust. I'm hoping to hit the gym tomorrow for at least 30 minutes of cardio, maybe some weights, and mark it on my calendar. Day 1, ...13 more to go .