I'm so vain, and I know this blog is about me.

So I've come to accept that I shall be 30 this December, and right now, I'm ok with it. 30's a big deal, afterall. Not quite like 40 or even 50, but a big deal nonetheless. It's like "real" adulthood. I feel like anyone in their 20's still has that "I'm an ignorant dumbass when it comes to this stuff" card in their pocket, and it's legit to pull it out every now and then at opportune times : buying a car all by yourself without a co-signer, setting up (or maybe not setting up) an IRA or retirement fund, doing your own taxes, hemming your own clothes. Whatever. But 30. It's like the gig is up, and you're either a full grown, fully functional adult or a brainless twerp who doesn't know where the hell he is in life. I'm lucky in that, I am in a job that I feel like I'm meant to be in. And I'm married to a great man (don't worry, I've gotten over the wrath I had a blog or two ago) whose knowledge in many things makes up for my lack of. I'm happy and content with my life now, and I hope to have a baby in the next year or two.
And even though on paper 30 looks old, I know it's not. I mean, Drew Barrymore is 30 something and she looks great. I'd never think of her as old. Some good friends of mine are in their 30's, and they certainly don't seem old. I think my biggest two worries are: 1) I'll FEEL old. 2) I'll be expected to have knowledge about crap I know nothing about. Let's be honest - I've got no clue what it takes to buy a house. I mean, I know the basics & some terminology (mortgage, ARM vs. FRM, equity, escrow) but I have no idea what else that entails. I know nothing about how to cook a Thanksgiving turkey - I can't even make homemade biscuits. I dont' know how to "rip" stuff to or off of a computer. I have no idea in the world who I'm voting for in Nov (DONT' YOU DARE SEND ME YOUR PROPAGANDA, PLEASE!!) I feel like there is tons of stuff I should have learned by now that I haven't, and that somehow, I'll still be seen as a little girl.
Which is something I struggle with a lot, and I include struggling with myself in that. I fight myself on a daily basis to assert the fact that I am a grown up. I'm a woman, not a girl. I have to tell myself that everyone else sees me as a grown woman, why can't you see yourself that way? I still feel like a 14 year old when I have to speak with my principal or even some of my parents. Uggh!!! WTH???? I really thought I would have outgrown this by now. If anyone else out there is struggling with this type of inferiority complex, feel free to comment.
So, I end this with a tribute, of sorts. To my 20's : they were fun, they were turbulent, they were drama riddled. They were the best of times, the worst of times, and everything in between. Here's the girl I was, the woman I am, and all that I hope to be.
Cheers.